March Comes in Like a Lion and Goes Out Like a Lamb
5 Minute Read
Sounds like a description of grief too?
There is an old proverb that says that the month of March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, with regard to the weather. Can this be true of grief too? Yes, it can. Here’s how.
The Lion Side of Grief
Those of you who have known the immediate feelings of grief after death know how piercing, raw, and painful it can be. Your whole body hurts, and your mind is in a grief fog. You’re feeling numb all over.
Like a lion, your grief is FIERCE.
Every grieving person wonders if the pain and fierceness of grief will ever go away. And the answer for most, is that yes, grief does become GENTLER. (Note: This may not necessarily apply to those suffering symptoms of complicated grief).
The Transition to the Lamb Side of Grief
How we grieve a person’s death changes over time. In the beginning, the feeling is as shattering as can be, leaving a griever hardly able to function as usual. As time moves ahead, slowly and steadily the healing begins and the grief begins to present itself in gentler ways.
Changes in Grief
Grief changes everyone, in some ways for the short-term and in other ways, for the long-term. Any change is hard in the beginning because it’s an adjustment to a “new normal.” This is true whether the change is in a job, a relationship or marriage, or of course, the death of a loved one.
In the beginning, grief comes strongly, sparing no unpleasantness.
Symptoms of Grief
Grief symptoms might include changes in eating patterns, sleeping patterns, routines, moods (including irritability, “the blues,” or depression), lack of energy, inability to focus and concentrate on things, and communication within relationships. These are the parts of grief that come in fiercely.
The good news is that they rarely stay forever.
Those symptoms calm down, as the griever learns to live with grief, perhaps accept the loss, and choose to honor the deceased loved one by continuing to “live”. These are the short-term changes that a person may undergo when in grief.
The Reality of Grief
Nobody ever goes back to the way they were before the death of a loved one.
However, the pain changes. It lessens. Gradually, you adapt to your new self, the person who has been changed by the experience of grief, but is ready to “live” again, though differently.
Transformation of Grief
In my grief counseling practice, I am fortunate enough to witness this transformation of grief from fierce to gentler, at various times as my clients work through their grief.
That fog that takes over after someone dies, or that pervasive, heaviness of grief that hangs over you in the early stages, gives way to an understanding about the death, the creation of new traditions and new memories, and working towards continuing bonds with the loved one, though he/she is not physically present.
How You Can Tell Your Grief is Easing
You’ll know that your grief has become gentler when…
You recognize that you will always and forever feel the absence of your loved one, but you can and will continue to live, despite the absence.
You will recognize and become grateful for the family and friends who have supported you with their love and help through trying times.
You can shrug off the “little things” in life that are annoying, but not life-threatening.
You come to view your grief is no longer as “fierce” as it once was.
You come to a point in time when you will actually find yourself helping others in their grief, with your experience benefiting others.
Something to Remember During Grief
So, when times get tougher than you can handle, remember that grief may be like the month of March, coming in like a lion and leaving a lamb.
Having Trouble Getting From “Lion Fierce” to “Lamb Gentle” in Your Grief?
Grief counseling might benefit you greatly. For more information, CLICK HERE to receive my handout about the benefits of grief counseling, or schedule a call with me to talk about how my grief counseling sessions can help you.
