Grief Can Make You Want to Exercise or Not Want to Exercise
4 Minute Read
Some Grievers Want to Move Around a lot; Others Don’t.
Are You Exercising?
One of the known side effects of grief is a lack of motivation to do so many things. For some, that includes exercise. Others want to over-exercise as a means of distraction or a way to use up the pent-up feelings and energy that comprises grief.
Exercise is Not Always on a Griever’s Mind
For the majority (not all, but many many) grievers, the last thing they want to do is EXERCISE.
Exercise, in this case, can even mean just getting off the couch. This may sound exaggerated to those grievers who feel that they really need to go for a run or hit the gym to release the stress.
But I’m talking about the others, for whom grief creates a heavy lethargy, a lack of energy, and the kind of feeling in which every movement is an effort.
Here are some of the thoughts that go along with this kind of thinking.
These could be myths perhaps?
Calories don’t count in the first year of mourning. I get a “pass” in having to do the right thing, taking care of myself, controlling the feeding of my emotions, and any other of the things that we don’t naturally want to do when it takes effort.
I am entitled to slack off. After all, the worst of all possible things has happened to me, -- the death of a loved one. So, what’s the point of making the extra effort, when I’m not in the mood.
I am just too tired to even think about exercising.
I should spend any free time that I have in the midst of grief. I don’t want people to think I am not mourning, after all.
Ok. You get the point. When it’s just too much to think about moving your body, attempting to do so, probably won’t work. Knowing you should inch your way off the bed or the couch and doing it are two different things.
These articles give great exercise and nutrition tips for those who are grieving.
How about trying these thoughts instead?
These are not myths. They are facts:
You don’t have to hit the gym in a huge way to feel the effects of exercise. You can walk for a half hour, take a stretch class of strength training class, or take a class even if it's online from the comfort of your home. Just do something. At first, you’ll be forcing yourself every step of the way. But after a time or two, you might admit you actually feel somewhat better moving your body, breathing, stretching, and feeling something other than the pain in your heart. If you’re focused enough on your activity, you may even be able to let your thoughts and sadness take a mini-break while you’re exercising.
Now may be a good time to try yoga, to settle and ground yourself for an hour. There are yoga classes for beginners and it doesn’t matter if you’re not the most flexible person on the planet.
There is something called grief yoga. This is a unique activity to check out and you’ll see how healing it can be. Visit griefyoga.com to learn more. See my previous blog post about grief yoga.
You may find that it’s good to get out and be in an environment where your grief is not the predominant experience going on around you. You’ll feel good to be outside your “bubble” of grief and sadness for a period of time.
If you get the endorphins going, who knows what mood lift you may get! Research has shown that, a little moderate exercise every day (20 – 30 min.) is actually better for the mood than a super hard workout every other day.
Exercise boosts serotonin and norepinephrine levels, the neurotransmitters that help make people more positive. People with depression often have lower baseline levels of serotonin. Wouldn’t it be nice to get rid of some of the underlying depression that people often feel during grief?
Your family and friends will stop harassing you about your inactivity. That’s worth something, isn’t it?
More Factual Evidence
If you want to read a very technical article that documents evidence about the benefits of exercise for the bereaved, click on the button below.
Help Yourself During Your Grief
Grief doesn’t go away all of a sudden. It changes, slowly. And one way to start to counter the weight of grief is to do something that can make you and your body feel more alive. Slowly, but surely.
There are many more ways to cope with grief. Let me help you identify some of them in grief counseling sessions. For more information about my grief counseling practice, email me at jillgriefcounselor@gmail.com or book a brief appointment to talk about it.
