Grief Triggers Could Haunt You on Halloween
We all know that holidays can be difficult after the death of a loved one. We tend to think of those holidays as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Passover, Easter, and other big ones.
Planning to connect with Halloween celebrations this year? You may feel more “tricked” than “treated.”
Halloween Could Be Tricky
Here’s why Halloween could be tricky for some grievers and why there are grief triggers in this holiday too.
Not Just for Kids
It’s not just a kid’s holiday. Children and adults take part in the Halloween dressing up, candy munching, and having an excuse to host or go to a party. This may bring up memories of the past, when there may have been a cheerful “Happy Halloween” feeling and festivity around you. Halloween holds traditions for many people, just as other holidays do. You can be sad on this happy holiday and stay away. Or you can try to dust off your costume and give Halloween a try. Your choice. Or dress up as a griever, which already probably scares people! KEEP IN MIND: GOOD EXCUSE NOT TO “DO” Halloween this year. Pandemic protocols discourage most kinds of gatherings.
An Emphasis on Children
Halloween emphasizes children. They are the trick-or-treaters and the ones in the cutest costumes. If you are grieving the death of a baby, child, or adolescent, watching the fun festivities going on around you may be tricky. If the thought of lots of kids at the door gives you the spooks, keep the lights off or leave the house, to avoid the onslaught of kids in search of candy. Or, on the other hand, may want to celebrate with the children just as you would have in the past, to “keep the tradition.” The choices are yours.
Symbols
Halloween symbols can be very scary, especially the ones with the death symbolization. Spirits, ghosts, tombstones, graveyards, skeletons, and other reminders of death are everywhere during October. Adults may find it difficult to look at these symbols in the harmless and playful way they once did. And, children may ask questions like – “What happens to you after you die?”, “What happens to your body?, “Are ghosts real?”. They may find these images as spooky as they were meant to be. So, be prepared.
A Reminder of Emotions
A witch on a broomstick may remind you of yourself if you’ve been feeling particularly cranky and mean-spirited as you adjust to a “new normal” without your loved one. If so, you’re not alone.
Check in with Young Children
If you are supporting a young child who is grieving, you may want to check in with them about how they are feeling about Halloween. There may be a lot for them to be scared or sad about.
Don’t be Afraid to Skip It
Halloween is a really playful holiday. Some people really get into the theme and decorate for months leading up to it, and then, really party. If you’re not feeling it this year, don’t worry. Skip it. Halloween comes around every year, so you have many more chances to celebrate it when you’re in the mood.
Grief takes a lot of the joy and enthusiasm out of you, so this might be the year to take a pass on the celebration.
Again, it’s safer, given the pandemic, to make Halloween low-key anyway.
Whatever happens this Halloween, whether you’re triggered or not, as always, remember that a griever has permission to do whatever feels right to them.
Tough times call for gentle support.
