How to Cope With the Death of a Pet
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Pet Loss is Devastating
Losing a beloved pet can be emotionally devastating. You feel like you’re a wreck, you’re losing your mind, you don’t know how you’ll carry on without the comfort of your furry friend around you.
That’s a normal grief reaction when a pet dies. The one person who showed unconditional love is no longer physically present to show you that love anymore. And you don’t know how to handle it.
To further the pain, society doesn’t always recognize the great impact of this loss and its effect on our physical and emotional health. Pet loss is sometimes considered a “disenfranchised grief” – the kind of loss that doesn’t receive as much sympathy or attention as if it had been a human loss.’’
Can Your Pet’s Death Make You Sick?
For some, the death of a pet is a very serious life event. In fact, a few years ago, The New England Journal of Medicine reported that, after suffering the loss of her dog, a woman experienced something known as “broken heart syndrome.” In this case, her grief response was so severe that her symptoms mimicked those of a heart attack, including hormone levels that can be elevated up to 30 times greater than normal.
Why is it so Hard to Handle the Loss of a Pet?
While the grief for a beloved pet can be just as intense as that of a significant human person in your life, the mourning process is different. Sometimes it’s harder to mourn the death of a pet.
You Get Less Support When Pets Die
There is less support from others. The griever is expected to “return to normal” sooner than in the case of a human loss. Bosses don’t necessarily encourage a “bereavement leave” after an employee’s pet dies.
So You Can’t Stop Crying When Your Pet Dies, Is this an Over-Reaction?
And if you show signs of sadness or repeatedly talk about your grief, you are often thought to be over-reacting, or emotionally weak. It’s well-known that having good social support is key to managing a mourning period, so when the support is missing, it’s even harder to mourn alone.
Having a Hard Time Coping With the New Change
With the loss of a pet comes the loss of a routine, a sense or order and meaning in life, as well as source of emotional comfort and companionship. So, your days may feel meaningfulness and lonely. You may even feel depressed or anxious.
People grieving the loss of a pet can feel aimless, useless and lost in the days, weeks and often months following the pet’s death.
An organization consisting of veterinarians provides a guide to pet death, and Pet Md talks about pet loss, including comments about “putting the dog down.” See click the buttons below to see more.
The New York Times wrote a very helpful article on mourning the death of a pet. Click below for the full article.
How can you cope with the grief and adjust to the loss?
Here are a few ideas to help you when a pet dies:
Seek social support from people whom you know will understand the depth of your relationship with your pet.
Look for a pet bereavement group, pet loss support hotline, or individual grief counseling if your symptoms are too intense.
Find ways to keep up your routines even without your pet. For example, if walking the dog was your way of getting exercise, keep walking as a way of continuing to take care of yourself and honoring your dog who made the walking experience a happier one.
Hold a ceremony, a burial, or a memorial service. If your pet was known and loved by your group of friends, family and relatives, you can have a memorial service for the animal. It will give you some “closure” and a chance to share your grief in the company of others who knew your pet.
Make a creative collage of your favorite pet pictures. Express your feelings towards your pet and the loss by writing in a journal.
Don’t blame yourself for not tending to a dog’s sickness. The out-of-pocket cost for taking care of a sick pet can use up all your resources. You cannot afford to do that, especially if the pet has a terminal diagnosis.
Don’t rush into getting a new pet. Take the time to appropriately mourn the life of your pet and honor your special memories with your pet.
Don’t feel embarrassed as you grieve the loss of your pet. Nobody can downplay the importance of your relationship with your pet, nor should they be allowed to downplay your feelings.
Treat yourself to a “pet memorial” gift or keepsake to remind forever of this loving relationship.
YOUR PET WAS YOUR FAMILY MEMBER. It’s understandable to grieve hard.
Here are two resources to help you with your grief:
So, remember that, even if society doesn’t always “get” your grief, you can be sure that other animal lovers the world over, feel sympathy for you.
And if you are reading this blog and you don’t have a pet, the next time you come across someone who is grieving the loss of a pet, try to really give them the sympathy they so deserve. A pet is never “just an animal.”
