Valentine’s Day After My Loved One Died
4 Minute Read
Another Valentine’s Day
Here we are, coming up on another Valentine’s Day. Another Feb. 14 appearing on our calendars and at a Hallmark store near us, complete with little sugar candy hearts with imprinted sayings dominating the store shelves.
Feel How You Feel
It’s Valentine’s Day. You are allowed to be sorely missing your loved one. You can even express your emotions during that day or evening.
You can completely opt-out of celebrating the greeting card holiday this year. You have a “pass” on this holiday. Unless, of course, you feel like celebrating your love and your relationship with your loved one anyway.
Before I share some tips with you, here’s a link to an article on with some thoughts on grief, love and Valentine’s Day from one of my favorite websites www.whatsyourgrief.com.
Consider these thoughts...
Try to remember some of your favorite Valentine’s Day celebrations with your loved one; you might find yourself smiling in the process of this remembrance.
Think about how lucky you were to have had that “sweetheart” to celebrate with.
Realize that you still have the love for your loved, though they are not physically here. This love is integrated in your life in a different way now.
You can choose celebration, rather than avoidance, of the holiday. Commemorate your loved one with a ritual. Light a special candle, display a heart-shaped object in your home, enjoy a food or a romantic movie that you two enjoyed together. Honor that love in ways that feel special to you.
Write a love poem or love prayer and read it aloud. In the stillness, your voice speaking those words may be comforting. And of course, say I Love You out loud to your loved one on Valentine’s Day.
Start a new tradition with your friends to celebrate platonic love. Those friendships are loving relationships too.
Practice self-love. Get a manicure, a massage or buy yourself a treat. Or gift yourself the kind of gift that your loved one may have bought for you.
Honor your loved one by donating to a local charity that was important to him/her. That spreads love to those who need it and can benefit from your loving gesture.
Reach out to a special friend, a relative, or a neighbor, and surprise them with a call or a note on Valentine’s Day to show them some love.
If you have a grief counselor, discuss Valentine’s Day and the theme of “love” in your sessions. Share some of the ways in which you and your partner showed love, felt love, or acted with love. It can be an inspiring time and a good way to refresh your memory of some of your experiences. A counselor can provide the safe space for you to tell your stories any way you want. And there’ll be nobody else around to say, “Ok, are you almost done?”
Here’s the good news…
On February 15, a new day will dawn, and the national “commercial” day of love will be over.
For more on how grief counseling can help when grief hits you hard, schedule a complimentary consultation.
