Grief During the December Holidays
6 Minute Read
There ARE Ways to Cope
Do you fall to pieces at the sound of a Christmas song playing in the store? Do you wonder how one song can ruin your shopping trip? Do you stare at the adult buying a gift for her child as you grieve the loss of yours? Do you want to kick every Christmas tree that you see? Do you want to skip the Chanukah menorah lighting ceremony?
You’re not alone.
These feelings are SO familiar to so many. Even in the midst of what is often considered the most festive time of year, many people in the real world are NOT celebrating and are NOT joy-filled.
In fact, many are really very sad during this season.
A Great Resource Available to Grievers
The creator of the great website whatsyourgrief.com took on the task of asking people what they wish they had been told about coping during the holidays. The response turned up some very helpful suggestions, as you can read by clicking the button below.
I’m sharing with you here some of my favorite tips which I often suggest to my clients during grief counseling sessions in December.
From whatsyourgrief.com --- 64 tips for dealing with the holidays:
1. Acknowledge that the holidays will be different and they will be tough.
2. Decide which traditions you want to keep, and which traditions you want to change.
3. Create a new tradition in memory of your loved one.
4. Plan ahead and communicate with the people you will spend the holiday with in advance, to make sure everyone is in agreement about traditions and plans.
5. Remember that not everyone will be grieving the same way you are grieving. (There’s room for everyone’s emotions and behaviors.)
6. Light a candle in your home in memory of the person you’ve lost.
7. Include one of your loved one’s favorite dishes in your holiday meal.
8. Make a donation to a charity that was important to your loved one in their name.
9. Buy a gift you would have given to your loved one and donate it to a local charity.
10. Find a grief counselor. Maybe you’ve been putting it off. The holidays are especially tough, so this may be the time to talk to someone.
11. If you have been having a hard time parting with your loved one’s clothing, use the holidays as an opportunity to donate some items to a homeless shelter or other charity.
12. Send a holiday card to friends of your loved one who you may regret having lost touch with.
13. Talk to kids about the holidays – it can be confusing for kids to notice that the holidays can be both happy and sad after a death. Let them know it is okay to enjoy the holiday, and it is okay to be sad too.
14. Don’t send holiday cards this year if it doesn’t feel right. Everyone will understand.
15. Join a bereavement group When everyone outside looks so cheerful, sometimes it is helpful to talk with others who are struggling.
16. Skip (or minimize) the decorations if they are too much this year.
17. Remember that crying is okay. Any part of the holiday atmosphere can trigger tears.
18. Splurge on a gift for yourself this year. And make it a good one!
19. Say yes to help. There will be people who want to help and may offer their support. Accept their offers.
20. Have a moment of silence during your holiday prayer or toast in memory of your loved one.
21. Make some quiet time for yourself. The holidays can be hectic, but find some time to journal, meditate, listen to music, etc or read a book, or watch a movie alone.
22. Support kids by doing a memorial grief activity together.
GOOD LUCK THIS MONTH…
I’m thinking of you and happy to help.
TOUGH TIMES CALL FOR GENTLE SUPPORT.
It’s important and beneficial to seek grief counseling to help support you through the experience of your grief.
Download my free tool to see if you or someone you love could benefit from grief counseling!
Visit jillgriefcounselor.com or email me at jillgriefcounselor@gmail.com
